Why Don’t Kashmiri Youth Feel Their Age? We Age Biologically But Not Emotionally – Why?
Have you ever felt younger than Your Years? Has it been like you turned eighteen but feel that your mind was stuck at twelve? Even as your voice deepens and responsibilities increase, and your body moves forward – your emotions remain frozen in the past. It’s as if you’re not ready yet for the weight of adulthood, and your biological clock is ahead of your emotional one. Many Kashmiri Gen Z youths experience this conflict deeply. This is a kind of identity crisis.
Why does our transition into adulthood feel so different than with youths in other Indian states? While many young people elsewhere ease into adult life, Kashmir’s unique history, ongoing social and political struggles, and heavy expectations have shaped a different path for its youths. It seems that biologically we grow up, but emotionally we don’t.
The Age Doesn’t Match the Feeling Within
In Kashmir, turning eighteen is sometimes an empty experience. You are an adult in legal terms, but the feelings seem stalled. In other places, this age is a period for self-discovery—perhaps take a year off, discover passions, or pursue dreams. Not in Kashmir. Adulthood feels hurried and robotic here, more like assuming a role than developing into a person.
There’s little space for emotional openness, mistakes, or even asking, “Who am I becoming?” In many families, emotion is seen as a weakness. So many young people hide a childhood they never truly got to live behind a mask of maturity.
Despite accumulating degrees and responsibilities, their hearts are bewildered. They never take their own route; they always take the prescribed ones. In Kashmir, young people are expected to mature without knowing themselves, in contrast to other regions of India where self-discovery is viewed as a necessary component of growing up.
This dichotomy profoundly impacts on the life choices of the youths in Kashmir. Some of them indulge in actions which may seem like they want to revolt. That’s not really the case. They want to be noticed more than they want to revolt.
There is still a child behind the adult face who wants to be heard. But our conditioning constantly kicks in. The cacophony of demands frequently muffles the inner voice that asks, “Is this really me?” Duties mount as emotional development is halted. We get older, but we don’t always grow up.
Childhood Got Skipped, Adulthood Came Too Soon
Many children in Kashmir are forced to mature early. Emotional childhood ends before it begins—whether it’s taking care of younger siblings, dealing with trauma, or learning not to “bother” the already stressed parents. In many other states, children grow up in spaces where feelings are respected, school counselors exist, and trial-and-error is part of life. But here, survival comes first. You don’t cry—you cope. You don’t ask—you adjust.
From a young age, many kids learn to hide their emotions for fear of being judged or seen as weak. By their twenties, they’re emotionally exhausted, but expected to function like adults. It’s not just growing up fast – it is skipping an entire chapter. And without that chapter, adulthood seems to make little sense. There’s a constant sense of something missing – a joy, a freedom, a softness that never got to bloom.
Deep perplexity and loneliness result from this emotional shutdown, particularly when others appear to live easy, well-directed lives. Many Kashmiri youths are trapped in a moment they never experienced, while the outside world continues to move. They don’t know how to feel like an individual, but they know how to behave like adults. Healing seems like a far-off goal as emotional suffering becomes a part of everyday existence.
Society Pushes, Screens Compare, Minds Fatigue
Kashmiri youths experience constant pressure after school. There is a strict timeline for them to “settle” into a career, marriage, and status. In the meantime, they are constantly exposed to filtered pictures of success on social media: friends launching companies, taking trips, pursuing their goals and living a fulfilled life.
But Kashmir’s reality is very different. Movement outside Kashmir is restricted. Mental health is rarely discussed. Jobs are unstable. In contrast to other states where young people are encouraged to try creative, academic, or vocational paths, Kashmiri youths are often advised to choose the quickest, safest option. Comparisons and judging are a social norm. They are so deep-rooted that they are not even questioned. It is part of our social conditioning.
Many Kashmiri youths are trapped in a moment they never experienced, while the outside world continues to move. They don’t know how to feel like an individual, but they know how to behave like adults
This continual comparing and judging aren’t easy for anyone to take. It stretches the mind to breaking point.
Then there are financial challenges to deal with. Many people lack the resources to pursue their aspirations, even though they have talent, passion, and vision. At the very least, several states offer advice systems, mental health support, and diverse employment fairs. Kashmiri youths lack these vast opportunities. Silently, they scroll through unreachable dreams. They pretend they’re okay even when they are barely hanging on. The gap between what they show and what they feel keeps growing – until it silently breaks them from the inside.
What Gen Z in Kashmir Really Needs
The youths of Kashmir don’t require any further pressure. They require emotional security. They require educators who inquire about their emotions in addition to their grades. They require parents who don’t consider being vulnerable to be a sign of weakness. They require a society that does not equate silence with inner power.
In many places, young people have therapy, peer groups, or even just the space to express themselves. Kashmir needs that too – and also deeper healing. Our youths need recognition of trauma. Our youths need space for sorrow passed down through generations.
And most of all, they need the right to feel. Because without emotional tools, even the most capable young people might feel adrift. Kashmir’s Generation Z deserves the space to develop guilt-free, fearlessly, and without being constrained by antiquated notions.
They have the potential to be a generation that not only survives but also transforms Kashmir. This is possible if our society listens more, labels less, and develops systems that prioritize mental health. Our youths require comprehension, not lectures. They require not commands, but invitations to be open, ask for assistance, and just be. Kashmiri young people will continue to bear the burden of maturity until that time comes.
Umair Ashraf holds a master’s degree in psychology and is studying molecular neuroscience, focusing on decoding brain biochemistry and its impact on behavior and society. He is also a passionate mental health advocate. He can be reached at umairvani07@gmail.com.
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